Feb 11 2008
Sweet Dreams
The Unfocused Life wrote a post called On Balance where he described his return to writing. Though I never left writing nonfiction, it wasn’t until my 30s that I decided to seriously begin writing fiction.
I learned early in life that I have to be an active participant in my own life to ensure my dreams come true. Though there are many stories I can recount that soldified this for me, there is one that has had the most influence on me.
When I was 18, I went out on a few dates with a 45-year-old dentist. Yes, I prefer older men but that’s a topic for a different post. J
Once during dinner I asked him why he chose to become a dentist. His response surprised me. He said his lifelong dream is to fish. And although he went fishing just about every weekend, he wanted to do nothing but fish all day. His career as a dentist afforded him the opportunity to retire at age 50 so he could fulfill his dream.
When I started my business at the age of twenty-five (somewhere around that age) the first person that came to mind was the dentist. I knew that my business would give me the flexibility to earn a living while pursuing my life goal – to become an author and artist.
For five years I lived and breathed my business. Everyone that knows me thought I was nuts. “Balance,” they cried, “You have to find balance.” I didn’t see it their way. I was happy to build my business because I knew that my plan was going to work. Besides, my business consists of writing and public speaking. Two activities I enjoy so work never feels like work.
That said, anyone who ever started a business from scratch understands the amount of hard work and commitment it takes to pull it off. So although it didn’t feel like work (most of the time), all my efforts were put into my career.
Fast forward to my early 30s: my first book was published and I started taking guitar and painting lessons. The sweat I put into my business in my 20s has paid off. I now have the flexibility and resources to begin my second life.
In the end, I had to pace myself. I couldn’t have it all at once. Some “wants” were put on the back burner while I concentrated on my sweet dreams. And it was worth it.
(This was written as part of the AW Febuary blog chain. Next in line is Spontaneous Derivation. Visit her site over the next couple of days to see her take on this post)
Just following the AW blog chain. Good post. I’ve always heard that if you want to be a writer, you need a side job that is mindless. You didn’t really do that. But I do agree with the advice. Writing takes a lot of brain power. I think working in a candy store, or ice cream parlor would be good. Well, maybe not for my waist. ~Karen
Karen-bob, I go by the school of thought that money equals freedom. I worked hard in my twenties. Now I don’t have to. Everyone chooses their own path. Hopefully their said path leads to many fulfilled dreams.
Work is hard. Writing does take a lot of brain power, but I find that most things I enjoy take a lot of brain power. (Apart from sleep. And I can only do so much of that per day.)
I have a pretty brain-heavy job, then I go home and write. If you don’t get used to cranking the brain all the time, then it’s going to be hard to actually write for a living, where you crank your brain all the time by necessity.
Of course, I don’t think anything is as hard as being self-employed.
Bravo, Auria.
And I, too, go with the money-is-freedom angle.
It’s interesting to see the different paths that writers follow to achieve their dreams. Congratulations to you for realizing your dreams!
That’s pretty inspiring. It sounds like you’ve gotten yourself to a place where you control your time, which has to be one of the best definitions of success.
I worked hard in my twenties, my thirties, but the work while fulfilling, did not fill my wallet. Illness myself and family took center stage. No regrets. Had I ever had a hand up along my way, from anyone–anywhere, maybe my 50 years would have allowed for artist pursuits. Still time, indeed, but tic toc tic toc, how wonderful my life would be, if instead I’d been a tree, to greet each morning with the sun, to sway with the moon when each was done. To know my place and where I’d grow with sturdy help from roots below. Does writing free our soul? Or do we write to make us whole? I do have many a story to be told, but still I must wait to see how my life will unfold.
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Good post! Thanks for the insights.
So tell me, do you feel successful?
ha…no i don’t. i know i am when i compare myself to others, but i don’t feel it. this is probably because once i achieve one goal, i strive for another. i’m never satisfied. that’s a good thing because i continue to challenge myself. on the other hand, it’s bad because i never feel good enough.
great, now i feel the need to call my therapist. LOL
on edit: i met a man recently who worked as a trader. while working, he entered college and earned a BS and a MA in Education. he’s now a teacher. he has enough money saved and made sound investments that he can work as a teacher (where his passion lies) and live very comfortably. the more i think about my post today. the more stories i have to share on how people achieved their goals.
here’s another: after college, “ed” bought public telephones. yeah, i didn’t know you can buy them either. anyway, everyone made fun of him because he would venture out to the five boroughs collecting quarters from his phones. but he had the last laugh. he took the money he made and started a company. in less than five years he was a millionaire (on paper). by the age of thirty six he retired. after two years of traveling he became bored and starting to consult, earning $30,000 a month. after a while he got bored with that and started three other companies. he’s fourty-five now. his passion for telephones turned out very well for him.
rich or no, people with a true passion will usually find a way to fulfill that need. sometimes it takes a bit or a truckload of patience, of which i have little, but it’s achievable. you seem to have done very well for yourself, that’s much to be proud of and grateful for!
Doug, I agree with you. I grew up on public assistance and so did “Ed.” Passion and perhaps a little dash of the fear of not having food on the table was definately a driving force.
I wish I’d had your wisdom when I was your age, but with a minister for a father and an academic for a stepfather, I didn’t grow up with money or people who valued money.
Amazing how, as they’ve aged, they’ve changed their tunes and money is quite important now.
So I was not well equipped for financial independence and medical bills wiped out our savings and part of our retirement.
Oh to be 25 knowing what I know now.
But good for you! You are very fortunate!
Write well, write often,
M
This is a good topic. I was never sure what my day job would be even though I knew I wanted to write. The concept of having another career solely to enable one the freedom to do ’something else’ (like writing) is a tough one to sell to my parents. They’ve had traditional careers that fulfilled them and paid their bills so they’ve done nothing but relax in their off-hours. (Well, I say ‘relax’ but they raised two kids which isn’t always relaxing!) Anyway, I’m just doing what I fell into because I didn’t prepare for anything else - office work and writing. So far it’s not too bad.
“I couldn’t have it all at once”
I think this is such a simple statement but is so hard to grasp. These things take time, and that’s something I’m learning as I go.
It’s true - everything has to be earned, somehow. If you put the hard work in earlier, then later choices become more straightforward.
I doubt I’ll ever have lots of money, but as long as it’s enough to live, nothing is stopping me fulfilling dreams at the same time. Well, except for the dream to own my own herd of zebra… but the simpler dreams don’t need that much money.
That is true, Polenth. Many of us won’t be rich. Money alone won’t make dreams come true. As noted by other commentors, passion is the key.
I definitely understand the desire to have it all at once. It’s fueled my frustrations many times. Good on you for finding a middle ground for your dreams.
I’m glad the business you started was something you enjoyed. I often wonder if it is worth it to toil day and night with something you don’t love, just to achieve financial freedom later on. I understand this isn’t your case… I’m just rambling. LOL
Too often people drudge through their hard-working years without stopping to experience the joy. They figure they will enjoy their lives when they retire. Too often, fate steps in and they die before they ever get to enjoy their “golden years”. So, I think that balance is important. Love what you do and try to stop and enjoy life even during the hard-working years. Life is fleeting, and we can’t be guaranteed the time later on to enjoy it.
“I often wonder if it is worth it to toil day and night with something you don’t love, just to achieve financial freedom later on.”
Because of the nature of my business, I know many people like that. For some a career is important. For others is job suffices because they place their value on different things. In the end, no way is the right way for everyone.
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An active participant in our own lives. Yes. How is it we forget this?